hardcorebrownie:

today i sneezed in class and two people said “bless you” i’m getting famous faster than u all think

(via defectivebyvodka)

bravedad:

i wonder how many people i’m in the “i’d be down if you asked” zone with

(via defectivebyvodka)

fake-mermaid:

why can’t mosquitos suck out my fat instead

(via red-lips-on-ice)

ashtonkisses:

why do good concert tickets happen to bad people

(via defectivebyvodka)